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The Robin Hood Party

Part of the Robin Hood Party's tax-increases will go to fund arts programs so more people can create fine pencil drawings like this one of our party mascot.

After watching the Tea Party rallies which took place over the weekend in places like Florida and Madison, Wisconsin, held by reality-TV show star Donald Trump and reality-TV show star/former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, I began to think that those of us Democrats who believe in fiscal responsibility via raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans and retaining social programs which give working class Americans a hand up ought to form our own inside-the-party-political-party.

The Republicans have the Tea Party, a group of mostly white Americans who hold noisy rallies calling for the near-elimination of most government programs and the near-elimination of taxes on the wealthiest Americans under the ruse that this will help “create jobs.” At these rallies, Tea Partiers wave posters splattered with ill-informed and sometimes-hateful rhetoric (the president in joker makeup, the president with a Hitler moustache), and dress up in ye-olde-America costumes (tri-corner hats, froufy wigs, the like).

My party-within-a-party, which I will call the Robin Hood Party, will rally for raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans (for that matter, our platform will include tax hikes on anyone making over $250,000 a year, with the percentage of hike rising in proportion to the height of income), while securing, reinstituting, and even adding social programs that help working class Americans live better lives. Our motto: Tax the rich, feed/educate/house the poor. We’ll also get to wear costumes at our rallies, the more Sherwood Forrest-y the better. I intend to dress in drop-waisted medieval gowns, and any male members are encouraged to wear tights, and caps with feathers. Toy-crossbows are a must. Also encouraged: dressing up as Friar Tuck (good for balding Robin Hooders), or Little John (good for hulking Robin Hooders). (Bonus: if you already attend Renaissance Fairs, you probably have a costume that can do double-duty in your closet.) Our posters of choice will show pictures of John Boehner photo-shopped to look like the greedy, malicious Sheriff of Nottingham, and Sarah Palin as one of the Weird Sisters from Macbeth.

And, because Robin Hood was such a fan of hanging out in the woods, our party-within-a-party platform will include strong support for all non-nuclear renewable energy sources (wind! solar! hydroelectric!), and an increase in funding to State and National Parks, so that admission for anyone making less than $250,000 a year will be free.

You might think I’m being facetious, but I’m not. If Republicans can start a circus sideshow and convince the media and the government that their wack-job ideas about eliminating government services represent the opinions of most Americans, then why can’t Democrats do the same ? The Robin Hood Party will help call attention to the fact that the budget proposed by Paul Ryan includes a trillion dollars in tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires. Why do those people need more money ? Even millionaires and billionaires agree that they’ re scamming the government and pocketing the hefty cash return. Check out the group Patriotic Millionaires, who have signed a letter to the president asking him not to extend the Bush-era tax breaks on wealthiest Americans.

This is where the Robin Hood Party comes in. We need to wear costumes, wave crazy banners, and make more Americans aware of the fact that we’re being taken advantage of by the wealthy, and by members of congress who work to take money from our pockets, and put it in their rich buddies’. The Robin Hood Party seeks to reverse this order. We say that if you make more in this country through use of our fine services and finer citizens, then you ought to pay more in taxes to support those service and citizens.

Now all we need to do is find a celebrity to frontman our cause, and some noisy freshman senators and congresspeople to champion it. Any nominations?



Comments on this entry are closed.

  • henry lester July 9, 2011, 4:16 am

    1)Ha ha.
    2)True enough.
    3)Well put together.
    4)I’m in.
    5)Because I thought of it(as well).
    6)Because invention,whilst requiring individual effort and talent also has a collective element.
    7)I think the original “merry men” saw in Robin Hood not just a leader but a fellow sufferer,not just a boss-of-merit but a source of knowledge about their opponent,not just someone who would stand up for himself but someone who would stand up for everyone who wanted to stand up.
    8)That would probably mean that he wasn’t any kind of anarchist/terrorist etc.and as such is remembered fondly to this day.
    9)As long as you stick to the old pre -patriot act law,up to and including Non-lethal sabotage within the terms of civil disobediance.
    10)Robin hood “stole” and otherwise removed without the “lawful” “owner’s” consent to feed starving people and maybe those facing eviction too.Threatening to steal isn’t very fashionable,it is illegal,it really doesn’t do much to build trust plus I think it’s pretty hard to steal enough to cause the precise type of inconvenience experienced by the poor to the rich:the rich might get mad about it if they are sensitive to it or otherwise intemperate,or ignorant enough to believe it was in some way belonging to them but they will have some friends who will help them out and plenty of their enemies would lend a hand for instance if they felt the “victim”had not committed that act to them.
    Therefore to benefit those who don’t want to see anarchy OR see people starve we need to meet.
    11)Riddle-me-ree Paradoxes three:
    11)a Most of us who are interested /involved are busy and want a bit of our lives back first even if this isn’t exactly what we preach.
    11)b You will be prosecuted for breaking the law whilst others who also break the law are richly,not justly,rewarded.
    11)c Conducting meetings in secret is immoral and frequently illegal and almost always unwise,conducting them openly but with masks is now discredited,holding an internet-based revolution is still likely to lead to blood being shed(how many guns!?) to sum up:if being open is a fool’s game and being closed a devious one what can one do?Don’t be foolish,closed,devious or just one: be open be many be peaceful.(from within,Really).
    So,all in all,I like Your proposal very much except the last two ideas:we don’t need them at all even in jest;A)paying much attention to celebrities is part of what got us into this mess in the first place.B) EX-congress and senators who might know some of the games,current staffers whose whistleblowing needs practice.The ones in office are the biggest thieves of the lot(or their victims) I want balanced government free from collusion.I’m prepared to have them set this example.
    12) Because I’m sending this to most everyone I know.They know a lot.And a lot of people.So let’s share a few ideas with as many as there are leaves in a forest and remember no violence no disorganized looting no celebrities no serving legislators.
    A journalist once asked a very influential man,how it was,when he was already involved in gambling,prostitution and racketeering why was he not also involved in wall street? “It’s a dirty game ” said Al Capone.And didn’t he know.

  • Rebecca Lehmann July 10, 2011, 10:07 am

    Henry, thank you for your comments. Of course the article is satire, but I am serious about the motto of the Robin Hood Party: Tax the rich to help raise the quality of life of the working and middle class and to end the recession by creating public sector jobs and thus more spending.

    Of course, I don’t advocate theft. I advocate a fair tax code that taxes the wealthiest Americans at at least pre-Bush tax cuts rates, but, I’d argue, at even higher rates. The Robin Hood Party does not in any way advocate breaking into your local gated community and stealing gaudy lawn ornaments off the front yards of McMansions.

  • henry lester July 14, 2011, 4:39 am

    Thank you for your quick,concise and thoughtful reply.In case You have not already read these two articles was relevant to many.
    1)Nonviolent Revolution Clarified: Five Myths and Realities Behind Egypt’s Uprising
    Sunday 10 July 2011
    by: Dr. Cynthia Boaz, Truthout | News http://www.truth-out.org/
    2)Talkin’ ‘Bout a Revolution
    Tuesday 24 May 2011
    by: Michael Pirsch, Truthout | News Analysis

    Lincoln Memorial, Washington DC. President Abraham Lincoln observed in his first inaugural address, “This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it.” (Photo: nolageek)

  • eileen mchenry August 25, 2011, 8:43 pm

    All for one and one for all. Let’s do it. Warren buffet is our man. Let’s do it.