After watching the Tea Party rallies which took place over the weekend in places like Florida and Madison, Wisconsin, held by reality-TV show star Donald Trump and reality-TV show star/former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin, I began to think that those of us Democrats who believe in fiscal responsibility via raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans and retaining social programs which give working class Americans a hand up ought to form our own inside-the-party-political-party.
The Republicans have the Tea Party, a group of mostly white Americans who hold noisy rallies calling for the near-elimination of most government programs and the near-elimination of taxes on the wealthiest Americans under the ruse that this will help “create jobs.” At these rallies, Tea Partiers wave posters splattered with ill-informed and sometimes-hateful rhetoric (the president in joker makeup, the president with a Hitler moustache), and dress up in ye-olde-America costumes (tri-corner hats, froufy wigs, the like).
My party-within-a-party, which I will call the Robin Hood Party, will rally for raising taxes on the wealthiest Americans (for that matter, our platform will include tax hikes on anyone making over $250,000 a year, with the percentage of hike rising in proportion to the height of income), while securing, reinstituting, and even adding social programs that help working class Americans live better lives. Our motto: Tax the rich, feed/educate/house the poor. We’ll also get to wear costumes at our rallies, the more Sherwood Forrest-y the better. I intend to dress in drop-waisted medieval gowns, and any male members are encouraged to wear tights, and caps with feathers. Toy-crossbows are a must. Also encouraged: dressing up as Friar Tuck (good for balding Robin Hooders), or Little John (good for hulking Robin Hooders). (Bonus: if you already attend Renaissance Fairs, you probably have a costume that can do double-duty in your closet.) Our posters of choice will show pictures of John Boehner photo-shopped to look like the greedy, malicious Sheriff of Nottingham, and Sarah Palin as one of the Weird Sisters from Macbeth.
And, because Robin Hood was such a fan of hanging out in the woods, our party-within-a-party platform will include strong support for all non-nuclear renewable energy sources (wind! solar! hydroelectric!), and an increase in funding to State and National Parks, so that admission for anyone making less than $250,000 a year will be free.
You might think I’m being facetious, but I’m not. If Republicans can start a circus sideshow and convince the media and the government that their wack-job ideas about eliminating government services represent the opinions of most Americans, then why can’t Democrats do the same ? The Robin Hood Party will help call attention to the fact that the budget proposed by Paul Ryan includes a trillion dollars in tax cuts for millionaires and billionaires. Why do those people need more money ? Even millionaires and billionaires agree that they’ re scamming the government and pocketing the hefty cash return. Check out the group Patriotic Millionaires, who have signed a letter to the president asking him not to extend the Bush-era tax breaks on wealthiest Americans.
This is where the Robin Hood Party comes in. We need to wear costumes, wave crazy banners, and make more Americans aware of the fact that we’re being taken advantage of by the wealthy, and by members of congress who work to take money from our pockets, and put it in their rich buddies’. The Robin Hood Party seeks to reverse this order. We say that if you make more in this country through use of our fine services and finer citizens, then you ought to pay more in taxes to support those service and citizens.
Now all we need to do is find a celebrity to frontman our cause, and some noisy freshman senators and congresspeople to champion it. Any nominations?